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..: Wone Chingaso

The day our coworker Pam left Media Revolution to pursue a career in3D SGI type stuff, we sent her off with a cake and Oumar got her a fish.

But before I tell you about the fish, I should make a quick comment about thecake. You see, Pam picked up this habit of calling everyone in the officeher "fine feathered friend." Ok, so she picked up the habit from me.So when she gave her two week notice that should would be leaving forgreener, computer generated pastures, we were all excited and happy for her.Mostly because it is a rare and beautiful thing when you can leave a jobless scarred than when you came in, we appreciated Pam and wanted to get hera cake for her last day. So somebody in the office goes to the baker andsays, "I want it to say 'fine feathered friend.'" Well, it turns out thatthe baker, as is often the case, couldn't spell. I think they must all havetrained at Things Remembered or something. So I couldn't see the cake, butI was told they messed up the word "friend." I had this vision in mymind that the cake now misread as "fine fired friend." But it didn't. Itsaid "fine feathered freind." I think my idea was better.

OK, so about Wone. Wone Chingaso is a male fighting fish Oumar gave to Pam on her lastday. Pam decided that since we never name the office fish, it would be goodto name this one. So she names it "Wone," after Oumar and "Chingaso," becausethat's what Anthony calls that dent that used to be on his car (I couldwrite a whole story on that dent alone). I don't honestly know whatchingaso means in Spanish but I've added it to my daily vocabulary anyway. That'sjust the kind of guy I am.

So Oumar gets Pam this fish.And a bowl. You see, this new fish was intended to replacethe last fish she had in her care, a female fighting fish that killeditself by jumping out of the bowl no less than 12 hours after findingitself downstairs in Pam's custody. We had that fish for a long time ...it spent most of its life upstairs here next to Oumar and in the bowlwith her mate, and we babied thosetwo fish as they attempted to have offspring three times -- you can imaginemy shock when I came to work and saw our beloved fish lying dead, dried up, on my keyboard.

How did that fish get on my keyboard, you ask? Pam comes in that morning,finds her fish missing from the little bowl it was in. She storms upstairs,accusing everyone and especially me (actually just my Mac, I wasn't here at thetime) of kidnapping that little fish. When she finally cools off, she goes backdown to her desk and examines the empty bowl a little more carefully. There is atiny slime trail leading from about a few inches from the bowl to the edge ofthe desk. And there, on the carpet, is the fish. Dead. So, what does she do?She takes the damn fish and puts it on a kleenex on my keyboard. When I got inthat morning, it took a few minutes for the heeby jeebies to run their course,and then we had a funeral in the upstairs bathroom. Everyone was there. Iasked Oumar to say a few words, since he knew the fish the best. "It was agood fish" was all he said. And flush! away she went.

So anyway, despite the criminal record, Oumar gave her a new fish.Wone Chingaso. That was a couple weeks beforeThanksgiving. Just after Thanksgiving, we got this mass email from Pam:


I regret to inform the Media Revolution Family that WONE CHINGASO theGoldfish is DEAD.

WONE was pronounced dead at 3:14pm November 27th in the year nineteenninety-eight. Cause of Death: Fin disease.Wone is survived by his mother, Pam. It was thought that the fish mayhave been neglected by the mother but accusations were unfounded. Hismother was accused 5 months ago for the murder of Wone's brother, Fish.It was later determined that the cause of death was by suicide. "Iknow that people thought I may have been unfit, but its not true. Wonewas loved everyday of his life. I fed him and supported him in goodtimes and bad. He was my boy", said Wone Chingaso's mother. Funeralservices were held Saturday at the local Toilet.

If you would like to give to the WONE CHINGASO foundation for FINDISEASE please send your donation to:

123 Bubbles Road.
Tuna Town CA 00000.
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