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..: Visioneering
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The author said that he thanked his dad, because from his shoulders he had the greater vantage point to give him the start to visioneering. that's what he calls it anyway. i'm planning to get married in November, and it's at this time that i realize how little my parents are involved in my life. in contrast, my fiancee's parents are involved very heavily so far, calling and asking and taking initiative-generally showing enthusiasm and concern. My parents have not expressed any interest in any wedding detail yet. As a matter of fact, i'm not even sure if my dad knows about the engagement. i guess i always thought it was cool that my folks were so unobtrusive in my life, but these days i have to wonder how my mother could live with herself, being so caught up in her own life that she feels bothered to be concerned with any detail of my own. don't her friends find it strange? it's true, my folks don't ask where i live, where i work, never seen any part of my life except when i bring it inside the walls in La Palma. for some reason, i thought that getting married would generate some excitement, but owell. i'm growing tired of making excuses for my parents to my fiancee's parents. i should just tell her folks that my folks simply aren't that interested. maybe they are, they don't know how to show it. in the end, that's pretty much the same thing.

I've been learning a lot from our pre-marital counseling. Mostly from the questions I have to answer in my homework. What are your father's good qualities? bad qualities? How are you like him? Unlike him? I've found that I've wanted guidance. Needed guidance, and have sort of resorted to creating my own guided family, wherever I could. First at EFC, but that was a bust. But now, in my job. I have promoted to head of my little department, and i do feel a bit like a father figure, trying to train up my kids to be better than me, but first, to do things the way I do them. It's more like a family than I think. In preparing the cubicle for the arrival of our newest producer, i found myself preparing like a parent prepares a baby room. little things go here, some go here, crib goes here. clean this out, clean that out. i placed the phone over here, the stapler over there, the tape dispenser next to the stapler; just like how I would want it. i have already begun to mold the new employee into my image, and she hasn't even gotten here. of course, there is value in hiring people that are not like me. i'm certain of it, and certain she is not like me. i can't wait to see what she will grow up to be.
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