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..: Thinking Clearly
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The more I work with these creative people here at MR, and the more I see how well they think on their feet, I've come to yetanother realization. I can't think clearly. I can't even organize my thoughts quickly enough to ask the questions I need togather more information. Many days, I can't even write a basic sentence.

You'll see this if you ever work with me. I tediously explain the details of the project over and over, not because I think you're dumb, butbecause I think you'll need to hear the facts repeatedly, as I would need. I need repetition at work. I think I thrive on it. I work wellwith it.

I see my coworkers, the upper management types at important client meetings and they answer the most difficult questions with a greatdeal of confidence. That's good. I don't know where they get it. Maybe it's the age thing.

Now and then, when I am frustrated with work or get into an arguement with someone, my already limited abiltity to think clearly and composethoughts and sentences gets even worse. I get a great visual picture of my brain, and the whiteboard that is my mind, where I organizethe sentence. And i see it getting clouded, really clouded and I can't even find the whiteboard. My functions lock up, and I getreally mad because I feel sort of trapped.

Yesterday I was preparing some songs for a church service this coming Sunday. Mostly I pick worship songs from my little notebook of songsI've learned. Sometimes when I run out of song ideas I'll put on a CD of some worship songs and just listen to them. Besides being inspiredby the faith and hope these songs convey, something almost always happens: my mind clears up. I see where I am, spiritually, and i cansee some sort of road ahead. Usually the road I'm on. Sometimes the road I should be on. And then, sometimes i get the urge to writeletters; last night i wrote a long (well, relatively) letter to a friend, reaffirming her and telling her how thankful I am for her. Then,I even write old friends, tell them I miss them, and convey concern for them.
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